You’ve probably noticed a relentless push to get rid of negative feelings. Either it is coming from within yourself, because you naturally don’t like experiencing them, or else the drive seems to be coming from the well-meaning advice around us.
We hear again and again that to make our lives better we need to let go of those negative feelings. We hear it in spiritual teachings, health advice, positive psychology, law of attraction coaching and the list goes on. And it’s true.
“You need to learn to let go”
That is one of the most common questions I get, and is something I struggled with personally for many years. So, I want to make it easy for you by giving you two powerful descriptions of how to deliberately, skilfully and authentically let go.
The very real danger is that when we haven’t been taught such skills, we can end up merely supressing negative feelings. It is easy to think that we’ve dealt with them well, only to have them rearing their heads again and again, or have them manifesting in some other negative way, such as in disease or as a reflection in our outer circumstances.
The following excerpts are from two of my favourite people and spiritual teachers; Eckhart Tolle and David Hawkins. They give similar, yet complimentary advice on how to let go. From personal experience as well as helping others, I can vouch for these techniques as being positively life-changing.
My suggestion is the next time you feel negativity that can’t quickly and easily be shaken off, allow yourself about fifteen minutes to sit and simply try one of these out for yourself.
How to let go as described by Eckhart Tolle in “The Power of Now”
Make sure there are no external distractions….sit on a chair but don’t lean back. Keep the spine erect…. alternatively choose your own favourite position. Make sure the body is relaxed, close your eyes, take a few deep breathes, feel yourself breathing into the lower abdomen as it were. Observe how it expands and contracts slightly with each in and out breath.
Then become aware of the entire inner energy field of the body. Don’t think about it, feel it. By doing this you reclaim consciousness from the mind…. When you can feel the inner body clearly, as single field of energy, let go if possible of any visual image and focus exclusively on the feeling. If you can, also drop any mental image you may have of the physical body.
All that is left then is an all-encompassing sense of presence or beingness, and the inner body is felt to be without a boundary. Then take your attention even more deeply into that feeling. Become one with it. Merge with the energy field so there is no longer a perceived duality of the observer and the observed; of you and your body. The distinction between inner and outer also dissolves now so there is no inner body anymore.
By going deeply into the body, you have transcended the body. Stay in this realm of pure being for as long as feels comfortable. Then become aware again of the physical body, your breathing and physical senses and open your eyes. Look at your surroundings for a few mins in a meditative way that is without labelling them mentally and continue to feel the inner body as you do so.
How to let go as described by David Hawkins in “Letting Go”
When we relinquish or let go of a feeling we are freeing ourselves from all of the associated thoughts. The great value of knowing how to surrender is that all feelings can be let go of at any time and any place …. and it can be done continuously and effortlessly.
Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it. It means simply to let the feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it.
The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, fearing it condemning it or moralising about it. It means to drop judgement and to see that it is just a feeling. The technique is to be with the feeling and surrender all efforts to modify it in any way. Let go of wanting to resist the feeling.
It is resistance that keeps the feeling going. When you give up resisting or trying to modify the feeling it will shift to the next feeling and be accompanied by a lighter sensation. A feeling that is not resisted will disappear as the energy behind it dissipates. As you begin the process you will notice that you have fear and guilt over having feelings. There will be resistance to having feelings in general.
To let feelings come up, it is easier to let go of the reaction to having the feelings in the first place. A fear of fear itself is a prime example of this. Let go of the fear or the guilt that you have about the feeling first, and then get into the feeling itself. When letting go, ignore all thoughts. Focus on the feeling itself, not on the thoughts. Thoughts are endless and self-reinforcing and they only breed more thoughts.
I hope that these give you a breath of fresh air and relief when it comes to dealing with the negative feelings that we all experience at some point. I would love to hear your feedback in the comments below – either about how you found these techniques or else sharing one of your own.
If you would like to be guided through the exact steps for bringing ease and flow to your specific life circumstances, feel free to apply for a complimentary 30-minute Discovery call with me, I would love to hear from you.