Most of were brought up being told to be kind to others by not judging them.
We know that somehow, judging is the wrong thing to do. However, that doesn’t stop most of us from doing it anyway.
Of course, there are degrees of judging, like anything else. Some people judge others incessantly, and it is only by doing so that they can feel somewhat better about themselves. Others, who have a reasonable sense of self-worth, don’t feel the need to judge much at all.
However, in my opinion, anyone who says that they never judge is most likely a liar, or else they haven’t examined their mind much lately. (Or else maybe they are an enlightened being!)
For most of us mere mortals, dropping judgement is a work in progress.
I know that this is true for myself. Having been brought up in a family where a very definite opinion about everything and everyone was almost mandatory, the concept of non-judgement, at first, felt almost foreign to me. I also experienced the common misperception that giving up judgement means giving up discernment.
It was only when I was in my thirties, when I was listening to a Buddhist teaching by Sogyal Rinpoche, that something about not judging struck a chord with me. I remember having a surprising sense of relief and peace that came over me when I listened to him repeating over and over,
“Don’t judge, don’t judge, don’t judge, don’t judge.”
At the time, I didn’t fully understand the reasoning behind this, other than it was the ‘right’ thing to do. I nonetheless felt as if some burden had been lifted from me when I set my intention to let go of judgement. “Phew! I don’t have to judge!”, I thought to myself.
I finally came to see the true benefits that non-judgement brings while learning about energy flow and how it is integral to our life experience.
In a nutshell, judgement blocks your flow of energy.
It is only when we learn to manage our flow of energy that we can really take control, and learn to make things easier for ourselves. I discuss this further in other articles and courses, and in my free video training.
At this point, I would like to share a passage from Sanaya Roman’s book, “Living with Joy” that gives examples of how the block of energy flow through judgement can manifest in our lives. I like the way that she writes about the drawbacks of judgement, and provides compelling reasoning for giving it up.
Judgment Sabotages You
“Judgement stands as an obstacle to self-love. Every time you judge, you separate. When you form opinions about another person, saying for instance ‘This person is lazy, or a failure, or has terrible clothes’, you send a message to your subconscious that the world is a place where you had better act in certain ways if you want to be accepted. By rejecting other people through your judgements, you inform your own subconscious that you are only going to accept yourself under certain conditions. This leads to an inner dialogue of self-criticism. It can also attract many negative images from the outer world, for once you send out these pictures, you create a pathway for them to come back.
Look at the messages you put out to other people…If you accept them, even just in your own mind, you will find other people accepting you more lovingly also. This dynamic can happen in subtle ways:
If you think people do not accept you as you are, and that you must try hard to please them, then you will draw those kinds of people into your life.”
Here is the same Law of Attraction premise related to judgement being expressed by Jo Dunning.
If we are judging, we don’t have compassion around that situation, and it is telling the universe we need to experience it or similar, so we can develop compassion. Don’t judge.
Judgment vs discernment
It is clearly smart not to judge, but this doesn’t mean letting go of discernment. It doesn’t mean that what others are doing must always be tolerated, and that you shouldn’t do anything about it.
However, by first dropping judgement, and thereby freeing your own energy flow, you will be in the best possible position to take effective action, and be able to effectively discern whether or not it is necessary in the first place.
While this short article may have begun to answer the question of why you should stop judging others, the main answer is going to come from your own experience. My hope therefore, is that it has inspired you to begin letting go of judgement more and more, and in doing so test it out for yourself.
Remember! The critical point is to drop judgement of yourself as well as others.
Simple Reminders for Daily Life
- Try to be mindful and aware of how much and how often you judge yourself. (You may well be surprised when you begin to look more carefully.)
- Try to see if you can catch yourself each time you notice judgement of others sneaking in. Then simply drop it. (Even better, see if you can turn it into compassion; but if you can’t, don’t worry!)
- Don’t be tempted to judge and criticise yourself for having had judgements!
- If you’re having trouble letting go of your judgements of yourself or others, read my post about letting go without struggle.
- Begin to take note when things seem to flow more easily for you when you judge less.
If you would like to find out more about how to free the flow in your life to make it easier, apply for a complimentary discovery session. I’d love to hear from you.